Saturday, November 1, 2014

Paanch Saal Baad...

Five years? Has it really been that long? I recently discovered my long lost blogspot account where my first post was about a promise to keep writing. Well as my second post says, life keeps changing with every breath we take, this too changed. (And yes The Monk.. I am using the word breath and not breadth :D)
Like I said earlier, it's been five years. If a lot can happen over coffee then five years definitely warrants the abysmal. I have completed my undergraduate degree, have had a job, have left it. I have made wonderful friends and lost some very close ones, people I thought I would never give up on, along the way. I have seen babies being born and have seen my grandfather pass away. I have seen my VISA get delayed and have been drowned in the hopelessness that came along with it. And right after that, experienced the excitement, the joy, the furor coupled with anxiety, apprehension and jitters of being accepted and moving to a new country to start my new life. The same new life which has gifted me with homesickness, loneliness, angst, the pain of staying away from family and eventually the forbearance to deal with it, the skill and know how to live alone, the endurance to bear everything with a never say die attitude, the knowledge that everything will be fine one day, no matter how hard the times present themselves  and above all the zeal to enjoy life in all it's glory and all it's pain. And en voyage, I have gained some and lost some. I have become wiser yet at the same time have never felt more nescient, more ignorant. I have gained humility yet have never been more arrogant. I have believed, yet have lost faith at the slightest misgivings. I have helped strangers, yet at times have forgotten that charity begins at home. I have reassured and enheartened the despondent while I myself have wavered in the dark. I have become courageous, yet have never felt more timid and daunted. I have found my dawn and my dusk yet I don’t know which twilight I am in. And as Robert Frost said, I have “miles to go before I sleep”.
So here I am, still clueless about what I want to do and why I am writing this post since reviving this blog now won't result in anything substantial when I’ll go back into my writing hibernation. All I know is that I was once again in a dark place and on the verge of giving up. And then I came across the blog when I was googling my name (That’s right, I was googling my name) .  I saw what I had written.  “Nothing is ever lost forever. If we fall down, we can still get up and start as if we never fell. We should never lose hope and never stop believing in ourselves because life changes with every breath we take”.   So maybe after 5 more years, if I am ever in a similar situation and in the need for a pep talk or a hand to push me back in the right direction, this post will serve as my “little guiding light” which will infuse in me the right amount of strength and energy to move forward in life with positivity and gaiety.

P.S. With all the so called wisdom and experience I have gained, I wish I would have gained some considerable improvement in my writing skills :P